Question with 1 note
bigredrobot asked: Which X-Person is the best X-Person?
There’s no single X-Man or X-Woman that outshines the overarching concept of X-Men. Because the franchise is built on a firm foundation of inclusion, otherness, created family and how baller it is to smash up giant death robots that are a metaphor for intolerance.
If the X-Men do have an all-star, it’s probably Wolverine, though. And not just because he’s everywhere. Well, because he’s everywhere, but specifically because he’s everywhere because he’s an X-Man. Dude is a straight-up spree killer who was basically raised by wolves in, like, Saskatchewan over a hundred years ago and who has been a living weapon in every major North American conflict since that time. His powerset is ‘unstoppable feral killing machine’ and then the army put an unbreakable metal skeleton in him on top of that. And as so many hardcore Avengers fans have pointed out, putting Dr. Murdermachine, PhD on Earth’s Mightiest Heroes isn’t consistent with their usual membership policies. While part of that shakes out to Captain America’s boundless enthusiasm for second chances and old war buddies (“Nobody knew what a mutant was. We called him ‘Lucky Jim’”), it’s mostly a testament to ‘Xavier’s dream’ and how it turned a Canadian slaughter magnet into a true believer who is capable of no longer solving every problem he faces by putting his hand-knives through its brain stem.
Wolverine is that part in Grease where Danny Zucco tries to become a jock to get Sandy back, but Rydell High Baseball is the X-men and Sandy is humanity.
Question with 2 notes
bigredrobot asked: Who stars as Dengar in my Star Wars spec script, which is basically Dengar and a Kowakian monkey lizard in a mash-up of CANNONBALL RUN and ANY WHICH WAY BUT LOOSE?
A young Elliot Gould.
bigredrobot asked: Who wins in a cage match, a dinosaur or a giant gorilla?
I contend that we, the audience of this cage match, are the winners.
BUT that is a lazy answer.
I googled “Most Baller Dinosaur There Is” and, surprising absolutely zero percent of those surveyed, Google was all like “T. Rex.”
So naturally, the dinosaur wins, yeah?
Because one thing that is vital in contests of fisticuffs is the one thing the T. Rex is utter shit at: reach.
Also, the T. Rex can’t climb the cage because it’s got no opposable thumbs and is basically total garbage at brachiating.
There are some close calls early on, but the gorilla takes this one handily. Why is this gorilla crying? He’s just happy he made his fans proud.
Question with 2 notes
bigredrobot asked: EASY QUESTION: How would you fix the Prequels?
That is not an easy question, Dylan.
I could go on for literally days, but I don’t have the hubris to assume that anything I propose would be better - just differently bad, maybe? These I’m pretty confident in being worthwhile changes though.
So anyway, this guy who thinks evolution is a craaaazy idea considers Neil DeGrasse-Tyson his personal hero.
It’s kind of like not believing in basketball but idolizing Michael Jordan.
(Which isn’t an entirely fair comparison. I think there’s more proof evolution exists than there’s proof basketball exists.)
“Is the reason we don’t have dinosaurs nowadays because they all evolved into birds?” is an argument that absolutely zero people are making.
bigredrobot asked: What would your entrance music be if you were a pro wrestler?
A nu-metal cover of Dvorak’s New World Symphony.
phoning-it-in asked: What is your favorite monster? Also, what monster legitimately scares you?
Favorite: This is tough, because I dig all of the classic Universal monsters, but Frankenstein is probably my favorite.
As for what scares me? As much as I make fun of them, it’s ghosts. Can’t see them, can’t touch them, don’t obey laws of physics? Yeah.
I submitted an entry to WeLoveFine’s Gravity Falls Design Contest. Voting is open now.
If you’re into that sort of thing, and you like it, I’d like to ask you to take a few seconds and rate my entry and/or reblog to boost the signal a bit. I hate being all self-promote-y, but I know a lot of you reading this are fans of the show and I honestly think I’ve done much worse stuff than this.
Go ahead and rate it now? I mean, if that’s cool with you.
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